


Shades of Secrets

by jillc



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 12:13:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13481250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillc/pseuds/jillc
Summary: This is set during the second series, during The Nightmare Begins. It is about Gwen trying to understand the nightmares that Morgana is going through, and how Morgana struggles with her fears.





	Shades of Secrets

Gwen tried to busy herself as she shuffled out of Morgana’s chambers. It was only by keeping busy that she stopped worrying about Morgana. She would of done anything to help her, but she felt totally at a loss, such was Morgana’s condition. Ever since her mistress had been haunted by a succession of nightmares it seemed that a shadow had crossed, all of their lives. One that seemed to engulf the entire castle. Gwen could feel the tension creeping around everywhere.

It had started the night Morgana’s chambers had caught fire, Morgana had gone to bed early, in an effort to catch some extra sleep. The moment Gwen had seen Morgana asleep she decided to leave her too it, hoping that she would have an good night. Gwen picked up the candle and took it over to the window, making sure that she blew it out before leaving.

She had left early that night thankful that for once she would have time to do some chores in her own house. By the time she had arrived back into the citadel all hell had broken loose. A fire had broken out in Morgana’s chambers, and suddenly Uther was on the warpath. Before long she had found herself being questioned by an irate Uther. Gwen had to defend herself on a couple of occasions to the King. 

Uther had repeatedly asked Gwen about whether she had blown out the candle or not. It had taken every ounce of her courage to face the King and insist that she had. When the King had asked her again Arthur had come to her aid. She smiled at him in relief, but she realised the incident would not go away. It seemed that the King was determined to think that foul-play was the reason.

Later on that morning she had sat with Morgana. The poor girl was going out of her mind by now. Gwen sat with her, attempting to calm her worries.

“I’m sure there is an innocent explanation my lady.” Gwen said gently. “It was such a bad storm, maybe it was lightning, as Arthur suggested.”

Gwen was really frightened by the look on Morgana’s face. Her mistresses features was usually so strong and resolute, but today it was crumpled, and it seemed as if she was fighting herself, about what to say. When she spoke her voice sounded almost childlike. 

“I don’t know what’s happening to me anymore.” Morgana cried attempting to stop her tears from falling.

Gwen gave her a hug, and told her not to worry. In the back of Gwen’s mind though she was worried. It was as if Morgana had something in her mind that she didn’t want to say. Gwen always felt she had good intuition when she spoke to people. She could usually tell when people were hiding something from her. Right now she knew Morgana feared something, something that she couldn’t share with Gwen. It pained her that there was a barrier between them, just at the time when Morgana needed somebody to be there.

Gwen continued to try and support her mistress and friend, through her hard times, but the fact that Morgana felt unable to share her deepest fear, meant Gwen could only go so far. She wondered why some people found it so hard to speak out about their fears. Her own father had always taught her that things were best out in the open. But the more she worked inside Camelot the more she discovered how different people could be, in whether they could open up or not.

Her mistress reminded Gwen of another of her friends. Merlin, he was another one who she felt at times carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. No matter how many times Gwen would try and persuade Merlin to open up, he only ever went so far. Just like Morgana in fact, as if they had some great secret. Not for the first time Gwen wished she could break through whatever it was that held them. She sighed she would just have to be there she thought to herself, and maybe one day she would break through.

By the time she’d gone back into Morgana’s chambers she could tell her mistress was back to herself. She was getting ready for bed, she had pushed away Gwen’s offer to stay the night. Gwen knew she would not get through Morgana’s mask, but she was determined to continue to support her.

“I’ll always be here for you my lady.” Gwen said with a smile.

“Thank you Gwen.” Morgana replied. “But I will be fine.”

With a slight sigh Gwen left the room, and as she made her way home again, she prayed for a day when there was no longer any need for secrets.


End file.
